RIP What Not to Wear

Last night, I watched the finale episode of What Not to Wear via my DVR with tears streaming down my face.

It hit me hard that I’ll never get a chance to see the interaction between Stacy and Clinton again. Their partnership should go down in history as one of the best couplings ever by two people who are not actually a couple.

Although I haven’t always liked the public humiliation that is part of the concept of WNTW, for the most part, the “contributors” (victims) are happy that they were part of this ten-year phenomenon. And I have learned a lot from WNTW.

I had breakfast with some friends this morning and brought this up as a possible topic for my blog. It was interesting to hear that I’m not the only one who has learned something from Stacy and Clinton. Here are some examples:

  • Never wear mom jeans — especially those in a light wash. Our closets are full of dark wash jeans that fit our derriere.
  • One’s accessories do not have to match one’s clothing — my friend showed us the beautiful purple and black animal print infinity scarf she was wearing which looked smashing with her teal shirt.
  • Never go out in public in one’s gym clothes — and NEVER in white sneakers.
  • Don’t show both your “girls” and your legs — some mystery is sexier than none.
  • Don’t dress for the body you wish you had; dress for the body you have now.

I could go on and on, but if you’re a What Not to Wear watcher and you are in mourning right now, you understand my pain.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on my completer piece before leaving the house. Love you, Stacy and Clinton.

Retirement 365

People ask me what I’m going to do now that I’m retiring from teaching public school. I’ll start with Retirement 365, which is my blogging chronicle of my first year of retirement. It will debut on June 9, my first day of freedom from the demands of middle school children and their parents. Am I ready for retirement from teaching? Absolutely. Am I ready to replace it with something equally important and meaningful? Yes, again.

Right up there with blogging more will be watching more television. I’m eagerly awaiting the new What Not to Wear season — you know how much I love Clinton and Stacey (really, I do) — and it killed me to erase a bunch of unwatched programs off of my DVR so that there was room for Stacey and Clinton tonight. Of course, my erasures included Private Practice and Grey’s Anatomy, both of which I intend to watch this summer in their season’s entirety, and American Idol where Jessica Sanchez was robbed.

So maybe not everything I do in retirement will be totally important and meaningful, but a girl’s gotta have her vices even at her doddering old retirement age. Stay tuned… I’ve got a lot of grading and cleaning and teaching still to accomplish in the next eight days.

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Two Loads of Blacks

On Easter Sunday, my daughter texted me with the news that she was not wearing all black clothing to the festivities. She wanted to give me a “heads up” so that my poor ole heart didn’t collapse from shock. It was funny, but it got me thinking about how much black clothing many of us wear.

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Audrey Hepburn’s black sheath in Breakfast at Tiffany’s was the epitome of chic and I grew up wanting to be just like her. Unfortunately, my “sturdy German girl” body was not designed for either Givenchy or Chanel. Clinton Kelly, as the current voice of everyday fashion, also tells us that we must have a little black dress and black trousers as our wardrobe basics. But what if I’m sick of black?

Being a teacher is probably part of the problem. At six o’clock in the morning, the best I can do is to throw on my teacher uniform — black trousers, some sort of dark-colored top and possibly a sweater or jacket. If I make the mistake of wearing a light-colored tee-shirt, it’s a sure thing that I will dribble coffee or some food on it before the day even gets started.

I routinely do two loads of light-colored items in my wash, one load of reds, one load of blues and TWO loads of blacks — and that’s just my personal clothing! True, I don’t usually do laundry once a week; it stretches out to one-and-a-half weeks or sometimes even two. What is frightening is that I actually have enough basic black items to get me through two full weeks. How did that happen? How did I turn into someone who lives in black?

Yes, it’s elegant. Yes, it’s probably slimming. But it’s boring.

Teacher time is almost over. I can wake up in the morning and put on summer clothing that actually reflects my personality. Bring on the turquoise and the hot pink. I’m ready for some summer color!

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