Do you do Facebook Scrabble? I do, and it’s making me crazy.

I haven’t unearthed the Scrabble dictionary from my mom’s boxes and I cringe at using online help (although I’m ashamed to admit I’ve looked up words that include both X and Y). I’m just so frickin’ ridiculous about cheating after thirty years of teaching that I can’t even look up a Scrabble word online without getting all paranoid. Trust me, my students have no such paranoia.

My cousin plays with masters of the game and she knows all the tricks. In her Scrabble world, they play both offensively and defensively. OMG, who has time to learn that? Not me. Or perhaps, more honestly, not yet me.

My son is pretty good at Scrabble, but it’s clear that he, like me, is doing it for fun. He’s got a good education and innate intelligence so sometimes he wins and sometimes I do. His dad seems to be able to come up with obscure words that score a zillion points. I’m pretty happy if I get something over twenty points.

Even with the list of two letter words, I don’t seem to get the breaks. I sit for several rounds with all one-point letters. My cousin said, “Trade the letters in!” To me, that feels like cheating. I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with the cards I was dealt — I’m a short, sturdy, German girl who loves to read so I know a lot of words. I should be able to use what I’ve got to make a fabulous score. Or not. To do otherwise would be risking life’s karma, wouldn’t it?

And then there’s Scrabble on my iPhone. At first it worked, but it hasn’t synched in many moons. I get notices, but can’t play. I’ve tried deleting and reloading the program from iTunes but I still can’t play on my phone. I have to wait until I get home — and then I’m getting “nudges” from people because I’m delinquent. Way too much pressure.

Technology. It’s a boon and a bummer. I’m afraid online Scrabble is only the tip of the iceberg.